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How rare is honest feedback?

Joseph S Stevens's photo
Joseph S Stevens
·Mar 24, 2019

Something we practice on our team is giving teaching moments, it's a super healthy thing, and every member of the team including myself participates. I think this culture is part of the reason our team does so we'll.

I had noticed that when others gave feedback, man, you could see the improvement immediately... When I gave feedback however, only the most minor of improvements were made. Dissapointed

I tried, being more thoughtful and concise with my feedback... No improvement

I tried making my feedback more relatable... No improvement

I asked my team for advice, No improvement

I asked my boss for advice, No improvement

I read a book on giving great feedback... No Improvement

So I tried not giving feedback, and the team would quickly get frustrated with me for not trying... No Improvement.

Frustrated beyond all measures, I called a friend of mine and explained the situation.

He responds with, hmm. Well, have you been talking to them like you are talking to me right now?

I stopped and thought...

Well ... Yeah, probably why?

He said, well, you explained the whole thing to me backwards, so only at the end did I understand anything at all you were saying, so, I mean that could be why.

Also, your voice gets higher pitched and shrill, especially as you get excited, or more focused.

You also tend to jump around a lot, and take really indirect paths that are hard to follow.


Man, that hit me like a truck. I've since changed my approach, and man... It's been night and day improvement.

This made such a big impact in my life, and hey, the world's a big place, figured I'd share.