I almost never use them as I find them cumbersome and feel there is almost always a better way of getting at what you are doing. Forms, for example, i have seen people getting input data using refs. However as the form grows that becomes annoying quickly. That said there are most certainly circumstances I do use them. None that I can think of off the top of my head.
I'd love to hear more opinions on this!
Yes and no.
Refsare like an alien to me. I forget them always and only when using a React.js dev build I see warns about missingref.