In addition to most of the above, I've faced these as well:

1. Are you sure you deployed the version with my latest code? (This was in a CI environment!)
2. Must be a bug in the library (eg, jQuery).
3. I found a bug in the compiler. (Really, I'm not kidding! But this was in the days when the Microsoft C++ compiler did have a few bugs).

What browser are you using? (Even though it's 2017, it still makes a difference sometimes, especially with printing.)

"Did you try disabling your browser extensions?" is what I get from Fazle and Somasundaram all the time 😅

Working code.

That sounds like a feature request

cdn.meme.am/cache/instances/folder665/500x/226056…

that's my response ... most of the time....

WHAT THE %$#$#^ $%$#&^$ !%$# IS GOING ON WITH THIS $%#$^%$ PIECE OF #$#@ CODE

1 - I can have a look but there's a lot of if statements in that code! - my favourite.

2- Its run on staging server but why not on live server I don't know. Allow me 2 min for debug. hahahahaa. So funny.

#1 and #7 are my favourites 😛

"Well, this is interesting..." - I use this from time to time. :)

And usually when my code doesn't work, but I know it's not my fault and someone else f***ed up, my response to him/her is usually "What fresh hell is this?"

"Is JavaScript enabled on your computer?" — I hate this statement for two reasons:

1. Why would I disable JavaScript out of the blue? 😅
2. Every time I test a piece of code and something is not working; this question is thrown at me. Seriously?

Another answer: "Ho, I am still working on it, that's why!"