Not to be mean or morbid... But my favorite programming joke is most software now adays.

Son: Daddy, daddy! What are clouds made of? Dad: Linux servers, mostly.

What is a programmer's favourite hangout place??

Foo Bar

Why did the JavaScript programmer quit his job? - He didn't get arrays..

Another one:

Knock Knock..

Who's there?

After a long pause... Java

Lol...

A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"

Knock knock

Race condition

Who's there?

These are oldies but they might be new to some :-)

1) Q: How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None. It's a hardware problem.

2) Q: Pat starts the day with 27 bugs. Pat works very hard all day and fixes 5 bugs. How many bugs does Pat now have?

A: 43.

Found an awesome video on Life of programmer.

"Will you go out with me?"

"No"

"Sudo will you go out with me?"

"Yes!"

.titanic {
    float: none;
}

A programmer, an engineer and a projectmanager are driving a prototype car down the hill. All of the sudden the car breaks into pieces.

The project manager says: "We need to do a planning meeting to asses, what went wrong and how long the delay is going to be."

The Engineer is thinking out loud: "We need to get all the parts, analyze them for structural integrity so we can know what went wrong."

The Programmer says: "Guys, guys.... chill, lets try it again ... maybe this time it will work"

Q: Why did the programmer mistake Hallowe'en for Christmas?

A: Because Oct31 = Dec25

This one is from a friend of mine Kashish Grover, who has this great idea of co-founding a pub called the GitPub with Pranay Pareek.

You have to order drinks through git commands.

Do come and git checkout the pub. Make sure you don't cause any git issues post the drinking, though :P

Here are some of my other favorites:

• Find someone who looks at you the way Vue looks at React
• npm install yarn is like getting your ex to move your new SO’s stuff into your house
• Checking your Trello board on your own project is like checking your fridge for new food when you live alone.

Yeah its Monday again. I always wonder why is Monday so far from Friday but Friday so close from Monday!!

I got some joke collections

Adding few more:-

How do functions break up? "They stop calling each other!"

When do two functions fight? "When they have arguments"

What happened to the function that ran away? "It never returned"

I was gonna tell you a UDP joke but you probably wont get it.