I do not agree on taking a single stand of either being rude/tough or soft. I think, the stand should be situational. One medicine may(will) not work always unless it is so much into culture that, things has to work in that way. In Computer Industry(Software to be specific), this balance is essential, I think.
people should grow a thick skin if they plan to work in the computer industry.
May be yes, for the folks having direct Customer Interactions. You got to be, at times. But if I see from the Internal Management layers, you may not have to be. In fact people should be grown in a culture where they can both justify and give back the Push that is top-down.
Pushing, Yelling are part and parcel of it but, surely should not be 'the' thing.