Hey man I feel your struggle and have been there. It takes a while to get your feet wet into this new world. The more time you spend tinkering around with technologies, the faster you'll find something that interests you and one that you become a master at. But I sort of agree with the small company, you'll need a good amount of fundamentals before you dive into things link architecture, design patterns, or even feature-building.
I have an Computer Science bachelor's and it was still hard for me to get used to the industry. It takes time with learning, growth, and experience. Hang in there, don't call it too soon!