Sometimes, I find that when I go on vacation and stay in a place without air conditioning, it can be a cool experience. At first, I think, "this sucks," but then I feel a lot more connected to nature. It's hard to explain, but you feel way more connected to the environment when you don't have air conditioning and all these little comforts.
Sleeping on your side is actually the best position." I was curious if it mattered which side, and she explained, "I like to connect everything back to evolution. When we slept in the cave, we co-slept for warmth and probably slept on our left side to protect our heart and have our dominant hand ready for an attack."
In today's fast-paced world, it is easy to just use people as pieces of garbage that you can get through quickly, instead of forming actual deep meaningful relationships that could nurture both parties well. This mindset makes sense when you consider how we often treat people similarly to how we shop online. For example, when browsing on Amazon, you might think, "I don't want this one, not this one, maybe this one; let me read up on it." This approach can unconsciously extend to our interactions with people, especially with the constant access we have through our phones.
My list included simple actions like talking to a friend, having a square of dark chocolate, taking a nap, or going for a walk.
There are two modes our nervous system can be in: fight or flight and rest and digest. The fight or flight mode is characterized by hyper-vigilance, where we are constantly looking out for threats. In contrast, the rest and digest mode is the calm state we experience after a satisfying meal. Ideally, we want to spend more time in the rest and digest mode. Engaging in activities like going for a long walk in nature can help reset your nervous system.
To understand this better, one can refer to Erikson's stages of psychosocial development. The first stage, trust versus mistrust, is foundational. Many of my CEO clients find themselves grappling with the stage of industry versus inferiority, which occurs between ages 5 to 12. This stage often leads to feelings of inadequacy, commonly referred to as imposter syndrome.
Consider a newborn baby: it starts with almost no abilities, and within just 18 months, the transformation is astonishing. The progress is remarkable, and it is incredible to witness how much development occurs in such a short time.
By that time, they are walking, can control their own bladder and bowels, and can speak up to five languages if they have been exposed to different languages in their early years. This is the biggest example of neuroplasticity; the change is incredible.
So, I was going to say that we can also get access to ancestral or ancient wisdom. If we put that together with the idea of what our ancestors did when they didn't really have resources to spare for fun, right? They danced, they drummed, they chanted, they hummed, they sang, they painted. These physical activities are actually really good for us and can help us to release some of that stored trauma. So, I'd love for people to go away with that message: yes, you might have stored trauma that talking therapy hasn't completely gotten rid of, but there are things that you can do at home. You don’t have to pay for a massage; you can do self-massage, you can take a bath, you can dance around your living room, and all of these things could also help you to release that kind of trauma.
Trauma is a significant issue, and I'd love for people to walk away with the message that yes, you might have stored trauma that talking therapy hasn't completely got rid of
I sometimes wonder about the nature of stress in our current society. Everyone feels so stressed out, and it seems to be a prevalent issue. It used to be that we had to be wary of physical threats, like a lion attacking us. Now, however, the biggest threats to our safety are psychological threats—things like your partner leaving you, losing your job, or your friends not liking you anymore. The fear has shifted from external to internal, and it feels like we are in a phase of evolution where the lions now are the fears inside of us. These fears include concerns about losing our ability to feed our families or achieving our goals.
If it's an interdependent, trusting relationship where both parties are committed for the long term, then that inevitably will reduce your stress levels.
For women, particularly if they are being intimate, they will experience a lot of oxytocin—a hormone released through cuddling and physical intimacy, which peaks during orgasm. As a result, they become more bonded to the guy. If the guy has no intentions of pursuing a committed relationship, he will experience a lot of dopamine, the reward chemical, and testosterone. Additionally, there is a hormone called vasopressin, which relates to social bonding and aggression in men. If men don't have sex immediately, this hormone builds up, leading them to become bonded to the woman. Consequently, there is better value in creating a relationship if sex is not involved right away, as it increases the chances of the man bonding with the woman.
I feel like the more I keep it in my body, the more masculine I feel, and the more of myself I feel, as opposed to just having a leak of it constantly. You know, it's kind of like I almost had a leak of my masculinity, and I would cause the leak, but the leak would happen, and it was just like a dripping pipe. You look at a dripping pipe, and you're like, "Ah," but you look at a pipe that's not dripping, and you're like, "Hey, this is some pretty good construction over here."
co-sleeping, which is associated with oxytocin release, and question whether couples or families that sleep together are generally healthier
individuals can improve each other's health, suggesting that if we ate together and co-slept, one might actually donate healthy cells to the other as part of a relationship.
having a moderate amount of faith or some sort of spiritual belief is beneficial for the brain. However, having none or too much—like fundamentalism—is actually not good for your brain.
It's important to note that even though the brain represents a small percentage of body weight, it uses 20 to 30% of everything that you eat. This means that when you are asleep, your brain is still consuming about 20% of your daily intake. When you are focused on a task, it can use up to 25%, and under stress, it may consume as much as 30% of what you eat.
There is a significant debate surrounding ultra-processed foods, but from a brain health perspective, I advise against them. These foods can have detrimental effects on your brain. The primary issue is inflammation. When your body breaks down ultra-processed foods, it generates a lot of cellular activity and waste products, which can lead to inflammation. When the body is under stress and receiving inadequate nutrition, cortisol levels rise, crossing the blood-brain barrier and causing inflammation in both the gut and the brain.
I would like to share my personal approach, which has taken years to develop. I eat 30 different plant products per week. This variety can include coffee, dark chocolate, and spices. For instance, if you enjoy Mexican cuisine, it’s not as challenging as it seems to incorporate diverse vegetables. In South America, they refer to squash, beans, and corn as the three sisters, attributing their consumption to the blue zones of longevity in certain regions.
In addition to plant-based foods, it’s essential to consume good quality protein. Lean proteins such as eggs, yogurt, tofu, and fish are excellent options. Speaking of fish, I personally enjoy it a lot. There’s something fascinating about seeing fish in the water, although I do have a peculiar perspective on animals. For example, when I look at cows, I often think, "this thing is dumb," which influences my feelings about eating them. In contrast, fish seem more dynamic, and I sometimes think about wanting to embody traits of the animals I consume.
Moreover, we must not forget the importance of good fats for the brain. Foods like oily fish, avocados, eggs, nuts, and olive oil are all beneficial. Additionally, dark-skinned foods are generally better for brain health than their lighter counterparts. For instance, purple sprouting broccoli is preferable to green broccoli, and blueberries are a better choice than raspberries. The purple color in these foods contains antioxidants known as anthocyanins, which are beneficial for neuroplasticity—the brain's ability to change and adapt.
we actually have a second nose that is not connected to the brain? It’s called the vomeronasal organ, and it detects smells from food that give off vapors, like spicy foods. Interestingly, this organ connects to the heart and can influence heart rate, but it does not connect directly to the brain. Dogs have a similar organ, which allows them to detect pheromones.
Interestingly, cats and dogs in old people's homes tend to sit outside the door of individuals who are dying. This behavior occurs because cell death starts to happen before you actually die, and it happens in a specific order that these animals can smell. That’s crazy
Andreas Meran also mentioned that things like extra-sensory perception are not just “woo woo.” He compared it to the fact that most people are unaware we have this second nose. There’s science behind it; we just haven’t discovered it all yet.
What we need to live our normal life is called our working memory, which is stored in the outer cortex of the brain. Our beliefs and thought patterns, which we were discussing earlier, are located in systems in the limbic part of the brain, which is the shape and size of your clenched fist. Obviously, yours is bigger than mine. The cortex surrounds it, and through a process called Hebbian learning, named after the neuroscientist Donald Hebb, we understand that you can't remember everything you've experienced in your life, but you have experienced it. That information, like neurons that fire together, wire together, gets stored deeper in your spinal cord and gut neurons. This is why intuition is sometimes called gut instinct.
Now, how do we change our perspective? This leads us to the hard problem of neuroscience, which is the question of whether our brain is our mind or our mind is our brain. If we're being very scientific, then our consciousness, which encompasses everything we think and feel, arises from neurons and chemicals that are physically part of our brain. Recently, there has been a significant move towards understanding that in ancient times, we believed in seers, shamans, and mystics, and things like clairvoyance and claircognizance. We've moved away from that in modern times, leaning more towards astrology and the moon, for instance.
However, science is now starting to look at some of this ancient wisdom in a way that suggests we may have forgotten things that are crucial to our mental health in the modern world. I mentioned some of those things already, like drumming and chanting. What we believe now is that our brain might actually be filtering our consciousness down so that we can survive in this material world, but our minds are capable of much more than what we currently think.
In terms of perspective, it's essential to recognize that all the filters from your childhood and upbringing shape how you see the world. You can absolutely challenge your perspective; it’s not just your brain—it’s a version of reality that your brain is creating. I have some favorite exercises that people can do at home to help with this. One exercise involves sitting down and describing yourself—what you're wearing, your age—and then asking a question like, "What should I do?" or "What's going to happen to me?" This is especially useful when you're feeling desperate.
After that, you get up, walk seven steps, turn around, and say, "I'm Tara, seven years older than you, and I've seen what happens in your life in the next seven years." Then, you answer the question and give advice. This exercise is quite powerful because you’re putting yourself in a different place and using both your current self and your intuition. It often feels like there are many hidden abilities that we have yet to discover. For instance, while we often think of our senses as limited to five, I believe there could be up to 33 senses that we don’t even know about yet.
We have senses like chronception, which is the understanding of the passing of time.
I think we all take turns being what someone else needs to hear. For example, someone might approach me at the airport and share something profound that I needed to hear at that moment. It’s remarkable how we can act as each other’s champions throughout the day and over the years; this connection is a gift.
Sometimes, we forget that we're the captain of the ship; sometimes we just feel like the stream owns everything. I think some versions of manifestation can still make people feel like that because it's about the universe and vibrations. I wanted to explain manifestation through Psychology and Neuroscience in a way to say, "Look, it's your brain that's doing it; it's not some outside force." I think that's way more empowering, and that's what people really liked about it.
I write a lot about vision boards, but I call them action boards because I say you can't just create a fantasy and then sit at home and wait for it to come true. Look at how hard you've worked to get to where you are
If you know, manifestation is basically setting goals and desires, knowing what you want, and finding images of them to put on a board that you can see at least twice a day. If it's only once a day, then see it just before you go to sleep because it imprints on your subconscious. It can be very literal or metaphorical; for example, you could have a horse on there, and it could mean one thing to you and something else to me.
Basically, I ask people to make this board, look at it daily, and visualize these things being true because your brain doesn't actually know the difference between something happening in real life and a strong visualization. Wow! And you won't be afraid of it if you've already visualized it. You won't meet that dream girl and say, "Oh, maybe I'm not ready." You'll have told your brain that you're ready to take a healthy risk.
So, your brain doesn't really know the difference between something that happened in real life or something that you strongly visualize. Wow! It's the same reason why, when we watch a movie, we're able to get lost in it; we're able to believe in it. You could create enough of a visualization for yourself that if you really were to powerfully start to focus on it, your brain would eventually think it's so true that the world would meet you and put it into your life.
Women have had financial independence, been able to use contraception, and changed how older women can survive and be valued in society. However, men haven’t really changed that much since the 1950s.
For many guys, it’s not about whether a woman can do something; it’s about wanting to be of service and showing off a bit. We want to be able to help out. I used to joke about how women want to be men now, especially when I see women deadlifting weights. I’d say, If you put down the barbells and look lost for a minute, a guy will show right up.
making small, manageable changes—what I call "micro tweaks"—in fundamental areas such as sleep, diet, hydration, exercise, and stress management.
For instance, if someone went to bed half an hour earlier, drank an extra glass of water, ate more vegetables, walked a thousand steps more than usual, and spent time in nature, they would create a better environment for their brain. I assured that if they did a few things like that every day, they would feel significantly better within weeks, prompting them to think, "okay, what else can I do?" This could lead to a point where they are in excellent physical condition and could even create a vision board to outline their goals.