That is beyond outrage and ridiculousness. I had similar situation growing up and in school with being told what I could do due to to my "limitations" and aptitude.
And the irony of those people saying you have to have skills like empathy and confidence and anything else tied to the new age isms of emotional intelligence are the very same ones who not only lack it but don't have a true understanding or awareness of what it is. I've seen it being spread around entire industries and cultures because some big tech corporation or the other, which is massively financially successful by the way, used it and the every tom, dick and harry corporation under the sun throws it into their mix. Why? Because they will try anything for money. So the ones who want to implement it, and the ones further down the management rung, who later glom onto to a few key choice keywords, are completely inept and don't even have the slightest inkling of what they really stand for.
Also whatever "confidence" or "focus" they have was inherently available, not something they had to struggle or earn. They just had it and by course of their environment were able to nurture it only ever more slightly.
You are doing the right thing and it is disheartening to hear that you had to experience what you did from numerous people who should have been encouraging you and supporting you. If you can't be supportive, then stay out of the way.
You keep doing what you are doing, it is truly an inspiration for several others I am sure. One of the positive sides about programming and tech is that you can also do it apart from the "in" crowd and learn by yourself.
Thank you so so much for sharing this :)