You're brave and strong! Brave people triumph over their fears. Thanks for sharing your struggles and how you've managed them so far. Keep going, learning, sharing and in time everything will fall into place.
All big things come from small beginnings. The seed of every habit is a single, tiny decision. But as that decision is repeated, a habit sprouts and grows stronger. Roots entrench themselves and branches grow. The task of breaking a bad habit is like uprooting a powerful oak within us. And the task of building a good habit is like cultivating a delicate flower one day at a time. ~ James Clear