" Refactoring is intended to improve the design, structure, and/or implementation of the software, while preserving its functionality."
I don't think you've improved the design, structure, or implementation of this code. You've taken some clear, easy to read code, and made it harder to read. You've decreased the number of lines being used, but what's the benefit of that? We aren't charged by the number of lines we use.
Please, please don't do this.