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I like this. This is one of those "i knew that! But didn't think of it cause... obviously."

you need to write the correct exit statements otherwise you never know if it's actually done esp with the two dev null pipes :)

I use https://pushover.net/ across the system - basically anything I want to be immediately notified of (new user, new event, new blog post, code pushed to production server, etc...) sends me and the admins a notification - easy enough to add it to php.