Don't forget:
Opportunity for Advancement -- we can't even keep our well paid staff, so we'll end up heaping their work and their title on you whilst paying you less.
Large bonuses -- it's cheaper to pay you mandatory overtime than it is to hire more help.
Capacity to work with change -- Our upper management keeps going to paid seminars, resulting in them wanting us to constantly switch to whatever tech is hot and trendy right now, regarldess of if it is an improvement over what we have, or even if it is appropriate to the task.
We have over twenty years combined experience in the field -- the boss has been at this for four years and we have thirty employees the rest of whom are fresh hires out of college. This one always cracks me up given I can by myself triple the number walking in the door.
Dynamic We can't even focus on doing one thing right, so we're trying to do thirty things wrong.
Ninja Need someone willing to do everyone else's job for them.
Team Player See "Solution Oriented".
Self Starter Your boss won't even be qualified to know what your job is, much less tell you what to do or even what needs to be done.
Income Potential If you have a life outside of work, you'd make more money flipping burgers at McDonalds. DING, fries ready!
Seeking energetic applicants You'll be fetching coffee, loading paper into the copier, and "servicing" the boss until we can bring in an unpaid intern.
Self motivated because we sure as hell don't have anything to offer you to make you care about the job.
