This is SO important! I've been seeing such a positive change since eliminating starting with "sorry to bother you" or similar. It subconsciously puts the one who says that into a "lower" class in both parties' minds IMO, needlessly. I've very rarely thought that someone was bothering me when they just DMed me a question, but them leading with "sorry" automatically triggers negative emotions in me subconsciously. If the question would indeed bother me however, saying sorry would not help anyways.
My default is that I want to help you when you turn to me, don't undermine it for yourself - and I think that applies to a lot of people. Don't ask the broadest questions tho, do some research and hone in on an exact problem. That's how you can get help effectively and that's how people will want to help you. Or at least that has been my meandering experience🙃