Whouaw, such an adventure you had ahah.
I've been through similar issues with Apple before but never with Google.
The fact that you've never been able to speak to a single dedicated and efficient person after all those dead end conversations is astonishing. 🤯
I also know that many of Google and Apple employee may receive pressure or bad review if they take too must responsibility for a dev issue, they are not supposed to take too much time for any of other companies developer's problem. 👀
Anyway, I hope you find ways to deals with your policy compliances after all that struggle lol. 😬
(Super nice post btw, super cool to read 👏).