love this question! it's both fascinating and depressing (depressing because it makes me feel old :) I was a wee young lass in the early to mid 80s, when I was first introduced to computers. My mom brought home a Commodore64, not really knowing what to do with it, and I remember messing with that for hours, not only playing the games, but writing little programs as well. My dad brought home an Apple IIe from work not long after, and I was introduced to AppleBasic and Logo (remember that turtle?) where I really started to understand what programming was and what it could do. In middle school, we got a Packard Bell 386sx with 1MB of RAM and a 50MB hard drive :) I taught myself DOS 3.3 and was making batch files left and right, emulating my friends 486sx Win 3.1 functionality. High school I taught myself basic, pascal, c, and c++ on an old VAX system and college got me into web programming :)

You have me curious now :) Back in 2002, I worked on a bunch of internal apps for a company, and I know they were using them still up to a few years ago. If they (rightfully) shut those down, then I know I still have code running on NotebookReview.com and their associated web sites.

I'll be taking my girl out for dinner, but not for V-Day, but because it's her birthday. Seeing how she hates V=Day because it always interferes with her birthday, and I've always been against this hallmark holiday, I've hit the jackpot with her :)

Some great answers here, I'm going to offer up something different, and suggest you start understanding WHY you feel the way you do. Essentially a psychological journey if you will :) Do you know what Imposter Syndrome is? Briefly explained, it's when you think you haven't "earned" your way up to whatever point you are in your career. Most, if not all, developers have gone through it at some point, usually doing the exact thing you are doing, trying to learn a new technology. You feel a bit hopeless, doubting your ability to learn it, and it can be quite depressing. But there's good news! You'll pull through it, and learn it. How do I know? Well, you've done it before, haven't you? I assume you're not a magical Imp from the 4th dimension, and that you actually had to learn all of the skills necessary for your job now, right? Oh but those skills were easy you say? Could your grandmother do your job? After all, she's been around a lot longer than you, and has much more experience, sooooo....of course not :) My point is, if you're a developer of any sorts, or even someone with a particular craft/trade, then you're ability to grow is only limited by your desire to put in the effort. What we do is NOT easy, and there's a reason why there's a shortage of programmers here in the States. So go study, put in your time, try to have some fun, and in time, it'll come to you :)

2018 was def a year to remember for me, as it's been up and down all year. Last January, I broke up with my gf of 9+ years, moved out of the house we bought together, and left the dog I had pretty much raised since he was months old. I also had to end a freelance gig I was doing to put more time into a side project of mine. I really liked the guy and we got along great, and we're still friends today, but I didn't have the time to devote to him. Suffice to say, I was not doing well personally. I was also looking for a new partner for an online bartering site I had developed, and found one. She was perfect for what I was looking for, which was someone with extensive marketing experience. Over the next few months, we built up our user base, allowing hundreds of folks (this was primarily based out of the Boston area to start with) to exchange goods and services for free, and that was a really nice feeling to provide that for others. Personally, I was rebuilding my life, found my own apartment (it was nice not having to crash with friends), even met an awesome beautiful lady, and managed to go to a bunch of concerts this summer (live music is my life drug). However, my newfound partner had some life events happen to her, and she was unable to continue with the project. I ended up shuttering the site a few months ago, mainly because I was burnt out with trying to put together the right team to move it forward. Now it's December, and it looks like I'm going to end the year on a high note. I have a new freelance gig, my 9-5 job is going well, and I've partnered up with some fine folks to start up a community that should (and WILL) help out the disability community in a new innovative way (for those that don't know me, I have a disability and do a lot of disability advocacy work), which is something I'm super proud of. I finally feel like my life is back on track, and to top it all off, my lady is still with me :) So what do I want to brag about? Well, life right now is pretty damn fine, and I'm super excited about my new project, which'll be launching in the next few months :)

I think what Ingmars Lazdins is saying is that there are constructive ways to offer criticism and there are non-constructive ways to deal with criticism. Being nice to someone (whether or not you know them) is NOT the same thing as bull-shitting people (at least, not most of the time, there are always exceptions). If I had asked this question and got your response, I would immediately ignore it. Not because I'm soft or weak or whatever, but because you do come off in a negative light, and it doesn't do anything for me. I actually feel bad for you that you consider people being tactful is a sign of an alternative motive. There's enough negativity in this world, why add to it if you don't need to (this is coming from my hippie side I suppose)? There is very little difference in the overall message between your response and Marcos...

Everyone here has offered some great advice, and I think most, if not all of us agree, contributing to open source does not show whether or not you are a good coder, but rather what kind of free time you may have :) I've been coding for 15+ years professionally, and longer than that if you include "just for fun", and I've never contributed to open source. Not because I didn't want to, but rather because I know I don't have the time to dedicate to it. It sounds like you may have a case of Impostor Syndrome . Fear not, this ominous condition may sound scary, but it really means that you are humble enough to know that you DON'T KNOW everything there is about coding. It's not a good or bad thing, it just is. Most, if not all developers experience it early on in their careers. The good news? It's easily treatable, but does take some work. Just keep doing what you're doing, The more you code, the more confidence you'll get. Be open to other peoples criticism (good or bad) to your work, and don't take it personally, as 99% of the time people are trying to help by pointing out your mistakes. And as other people have pointed out, it sounds like you may have dodged a bad situation. I wouldn't want to work for some place that would judge my skill set based off of ONE factor such as open source.

i'm leaning towards leaving, as you didn't once mention the passion for your company. Do you still enjoy the "work" aspect of things, working on the product or service and figuring out ways to get it to the masses? Or does it seem more like a grind to you? If it's not 100% yes on the first question, maybe it is time to leave.... if the answer IS yes, then maybe, aside from the other great suggestions, is look for a "co-founder" therapist. These people can come in and help mediate communication between you and your co-founders, and hopefully help root out the problem.

The strength of your foundation will determine your success in web development :)

I went to college for Computer Technology, a hybrid of software and hardware. While I did take a bunch of programming courses, at that point, I was already self taught and was taking the classes only for credits to graduate. So I consider myself self-taught, and in my experience, potential employers DO like folks that are self-taught more often than not, as, like you said, they appreciate the difficulty that comes along that journey. I think as time goes by, you get better at learning the subject, and "self-teaching" yourself something gets easier.